Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
这两导演我觉得才是牛逼中的牛逼啊，
看得挺开心的，没有听说的那么悲伤啊，我感觉我没掉几滴眼泪，但是沈马组合真不错，希望可以一直维持下去。
出乎意料的片子，从科幻剧情到喜剧到爱情，每一个环节都没有什么特别让人诟病的地方，沈腾演戏真的有两把刷子，代入感极强，笑点自然，情感自然。泪点2处：照灯、牺牲。
很用心诚恳的作品了，笑点不三俗，有创意，就是煽情太多了。
谢谢 笑不出来 除了《流浪地球》的特效团队保驾护航让科幻像那么回事儿 其他都严重退步了 还是夏洛特烦恼和西虹市首富看着过瘾
全片的笑点主要来自于类似于小品与舞台剧的那种一秒反转的梗，从情节上说几乎并没有起伏，典型的开心麻花风格，从本质上讲和李茶的姑妈还有日不落酒店这些片子没多大区别。但这种一秒反转的梗好笑还是好笑的，只能说之前开心麻花的片子比没啥变化与突破。
开始以为是火星救援的故事设定，看了一会很快发现完全不是，这次简直是给沈腾定制的角色。感觉这次的空间站置景、宇航员服装，比流浪地球时期都进步了很多，看起来中国科幻电影的工业化水平是向前迈了一大步没错了。看完以后，免不了要振臂高呼一句：我磕的cp是真的！！（沈马一生
比预期要好✔ 继夏洛之后沈马终于又演荧幕CP了不管怎么说我圆满了😭花开并蒂，票房百亿😭😭哥姐给我冲就完事了！！！！！！
3.5 你是宇宙中孤独的微光，守住了千万人家园的梦。你的孤独，驱散了孤独，因为爱而勇敢
生活里时常感叹这世界有如此多的好故事
这年头都流行玩尬的么？？宣传的喜剧，喜剧元素就是谐音梗玩尬的？然后疯狂上升高度 然后上升到男主直接死了？根本想不到 奔着沈马来的 开心麻花一堆人，最搞笑 全片唯一让我笑出声的居然是黄子韬，太顶了。这年头为什么想看一个从头笑到尾，让人能笑出声的喜剧电影这么难呢 ？我还是接着看屎尿屁吧，虽然低俗 起码不玩尬的。
这才是开心麻花的正常水平，蛤蛤蛤 其实就是这样，不是所有故事的结局都是好人打败了坏人和自己心爱的人幸福的生活一辈子，全程爆笑，多谢款待，楚门的世界兄弟篇，独门的世界。
虽然煽情部分没什么触动，但也不至于反感，这就够了，毕竟大部分笑料都是能笑得出来的……而且这个梗密度也确实够高，居然能在这种电影里边看到《异形》听到酷玩……
太久没去电影院，看个沈腾，都觉得眉清目秀的。
电影本身还是挺具有娱乐性的，挺好看的，令人目不暇接的动画部分很精彩，country road也很好听，但我现在看不了宣扬为了多数人（所谓的“整个社会”）牺牲一个人（少数人）的故事。这种理念被滥用的丑态我们近几年看得还不够多吗？
一改往日装疯卖傻，构建人类命运共同体——“你相信光吗？”，“变身！独孤沈腾！”。
这几年，明显感觉沈腾和马丽到了瓶颈期，喜剧电影很难有突破。这部电影不能当做科幻片看，适合全家老小去笑笑，有笑有泪，还算不错。至于剧情和逻辑，别太当真。
坐进影院就是120分钟的快乐，体感良好，就是时间过得有点快嗷
非常好的商业类型片，比想象中的还要硬核，是很有含金量的科幻片，喜剧中包含了深层的人文思考
2022.7.30 耀莱影城 因为期待很低，所以心态很好哈哈哈。看得很欢乐，的确是cp粉的狂欢，果然还是沈腾马丽这个搭档很好看。鲁滨逊+火星救援，在泪点和笑声中交错，喜剧就是很治愈，还没来得及感动就哭笑不得。沈腾在很帅喔，有点油腻和过于沧桑切换，不得不说有他在，感觉就会很好很轻松。
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